corporate to startups: how my life flipped 180°

last updated: oct 8, 2022

10 months ago, I took a call that would not only make a dent in who i am, what i do -- but also made a complete 180° shift into the person i've now become. I've mentioned this quite a few times, but going from a company with 200,000 people to a company of 3 (Nomura to Ripen), has changed my life so much so, that i can't relate to the person i was while i was in the corporate. Now, I'm the Co-Founder & COO at Ripen.

I love the change, I love the uncomfortable situations i find myself in everyday, but it comes at a cost.

This has the potential to be a fun read, if you find yourself asking questions about being challenged with this debate of start-ups vs corporate while evaluating quality of work + the money factor + the risk + what's "safer" for your career + how linear you want your path to be, or finding purpose via my anecdote.

This piece, will tell you 1 of the 14,000,605 way your life can take a turn, if you were to jump skip hop to the greener side. Treat this like a fun read & not something that will help you make decisions.

Before i start, i'd recommend you to play this in the background, full BOP vibes, fam:

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Through this piece, I'm going to hyper-analyse the 4 phases my life has been through in the past 12 months. So if you're someone who's a cog-in-the-machine & wishes to do something from 0-1, this blog might help you get some food for thought, feel free to reach-out to me if you think i can help you :).

P1 -- June to October, 2021: trial & error

Overview:

This is the phase where i'm fresh out of college. I graduated in June'21 & started working at Nomura, in their Global Markets Department, a week later. I know it's a coveted job & it's fancy to say "It's an investment bank based out of Japan" & the validation from friends & family is great, but i was apprehensive about this from the start.

I hated the idea of being easily replaceable, but convinced myself that it's a great start to a long, long career. On an average, I was working 6 hours/day in the first month, but eventually, I moved to 10-12hours/day. This is where I started feeling that i'm doing things half-heartedly, that i'm not finding satisfaction & the fact that I can't do this for the first 10 years of my career. It slowly & steadily, kicked in.

I also tried building a product for media-diet. but, time-crunch sucked balls. i didn't have enough direction to do things the right way, to do things quickly. neither did i have enough motivation.

The quality of work was sub-par, i had no 'thrills' on a daily, and my biggest fear was living the over-subscribed linear path, which often times, lacks purpose.

Mental Health:

Wavering in motions, but stable -- I wasn't under stress at large. I was dissatisfied. I'm a cog-in-the-machine, waiting for the right opportunity to come by. I went through a lot of things in personal life in this duration, so that's bad -- but professionally, in retrospect, I'm doing okay. I'm not spending a lot of time introspecting, but showing up to work everyday was a battle. It wasn't great to wake up everyday & feel anxious.

Physical Health:

Good. I was struggling to make time, but okay -- not a lot of stress, not really worried about it. no delta. I'm fit.

Financial Health:

GREAT. I finally had money to do what I want, the freedom to spend. I've never had that growing up. Taught me a lot. Helped me develop a way to think about money. Money gave me the right to act impulsively (for the first time) and i don't regret it. It was a great, great feeling.

Biggest Worries:

Rationing out wrt to what to buy this month, while figuring out how to entertain myself everyday (life was boring) Wondering whether i'm addicted to my salary? or whether I'll get fired.

First world problems, tbh

Message to the reader:

this is how it begins. you're probably in this stage. telling yourself that "aage jaake kuch khud ka hi karna hai" but, regardless, you're still waiting & not acting on it, yet. you're hopeful. and this is usually a step all of us go through.

Being self-aware is a curse, if you don't act on it.

Δ: 0-20°

P2 -- October, 21 to January, 22: discovery

Overview:

I spent this time travelling a lot (every 3 weeks, on an average) -- I was taking a breather, settling in & in the meanwhile, while Ripen had the hippie-hustler-hacker combination going, Ritvik wanted a second brain for Ripen. It started there, with weekly calls & random ideas (with no urgency to execute, right away)

This phase made me realise the importance of a 5-9 outside of the usual 9-5. I found early signs of contentment, while finding an outlet.

We had launched ripen's IG, and ideated & ran two of our beta cohorts (Ripen squads), which were a bit difficult since this was our public debut of sorts. We started receiving a lot of warm messages, got some shout-outs on social media.

Over time, I had started enjoying ripen more and more, while Nomura started becoming a blocker in my head.

so... 3 hours before my probation was supposed to end (post- probation, I'd have to serve a 3-month long notice)

I put in my papers -- to get a month's notice (instead of 3).

Because by the end of December, one thing became clear, ripen was not a question of if, it was a question of when.

I decided to act on it.

Mental Health:

Wavering in motions, but stable -- I'm not under stress at large. I'm dissatisfied. Also, excited -- life is going to very uncertain now that i've put in my papers (which is great, ngl) I love the unpredictability, and this does me a lot of good.

Physical Health:

Good. Struggling to make time, but I was running/playing football etc, don't think my gut health was great tbh.

Financial Health:

The same as usual, but with a bit more of planning involved -- now that i know things won't be the same, I try to save more than the usual (〜60%) but this is also the time i go de-gen mode into crypto. I hit a few big W's early on which gives me immense confidence, only to face some big L's in phase 3. I felt that okay, the savings i have are enough to steer through the next 3-4 months of moving out, but alas.. little did i know.

Biggest Worries:

Finding time. These were days when i was running 3 calendars simultaneously, one for nomura, one for ripen, and a social calendar -- somedays would be REALLY hectic, like 14-15 hour work days, and those days in particular would make me think how this will not be sustainable for a longer time, and, how I need to do something quick.

Message to the Reader:

This was the time I was trying to convince myself, and I bet you'll hit this stage sooner or later too -- if you have privilege, just take the leap & i promise you won't regret it. You might deviate a bit from the ideal linear path your 18 year old self had planned for you, but it will come with its own sets of rewards.

Maybe, that's the beauty of it all --- the uncertainty, the unpredictable!

P.S. you might be in the zone where you're trying to save up money for master's et al, but i can assure you that Series-A/B start-ups will 100% match your current CTC (if not for a raise) -- so that coupled with the steep learning curve & a problem statement you believe it, can make it a massive win-win.

P.P.S. Just be decisive, don't take toooo many opinions.

Also, don't let lethargy & "life acchi chal rahi hai to chalne do" get the best of you. Some might argue, but this is the time when you can voluntarily put yourself in the rough waters.

Δ: 20-40°

P3 -- January to April, 2022: the unstable beta

Overview:

Fresh out of a job, I went on a fortnight-long trip (partly solo, partly with friends) to Goa 3 days after my last working day at Nomura -- it was pretty nice, i was going through the motions with a few other things, but i wanted it to act like the "reset" button before i go all-in.

I hadn't decided a title, pay, ESOPs, nothing. I was living in the dark, but the only reason i put myself there was because of the larger life purpose I was actively hunting for. This was the phase where I'd proudly call myself the "Chief Intern" (Towards the end of P3, I got promoted to Co-Founder & COO, talk about a fast-tracked career :p)

Amidst the chaos, we made a move to re-locate to Bangalore & live in the ecosystem we desperately wanted to be in. March & April was a lot about putting faces to friends from the internet (largely, twitter).

Again, meeting a bunch of random (and known people alike) gave this fresh chapter a lot of character & conviction. This breath of fresh air re-assured, that even if Ripen doesn't go to the moon, there's a LOT that i will be taking away from this chapter.

This was also the time i learnt how to pitch (casually & formally) & make friends. Also, this was the month Ritvik, Aviral & I moved into an apartment (namely RipenHQ).

Mental Health:

It came with it's own sets of ups & downs. I really didn't know the specifics of my role. I was contributing everywhere, and picking up ownership somewhere. But, the thrill & the adrenaline of a new city, a new ecosystem, a new set of friends, a new routine, a new set of day-to-day tasks helped a lot. Did have a patch of 3-4 days when I felt burnt-out.

Physical Health:

2/4 of my monthly resolutions during this phase required me to go off sugar & run 2kms a day. Though I had a weird routine, I was feeling good about my body.

Financial Health:

Pretty bad. I had gone from taking a decent salary to straight zero. Moving out to a new city comes with a gazillion costs. To make things worse, I went de-gen mode into a few crypto projects & ICO's & lost a bag. There was a time I had 37 rupees in my account, it was pretty disastrous, ngl.

But starting May, we started taking $$'s enough to cover for rent + utilities. Regardless, I'd have to think 5-times before stepping out for dinner, let alone to think of book flights to travel anywhere. But also, this had it's own set of cheap thrills.

Biggest Worries:

I actually had quite some. Ideating about the company's 5-year long vision (putting it in a pitch perfect deck) & how to take the first step with a gazillion options. How am i going to pay my bills? When/How will we launch the product? Will we move to the partner round with this VC? Where's the next round going to come from? Who is a good hire, and why right now? What is going to be my role in this company?

I'm probably not doing justice to what I went through, tbh. There were a LOT of heavy conversations through this phase.

Message to the reader:

Unarguably, this phase is overwhelming. Exponential growth requires you to take contrarian bets. Bets that won't make sense, but are driven by your gut. SUPER important to not be short-sighted, though. You lose out on status, and you (read: you, your start-up, your idea, your decision) will probably be judged a LOT by your friends, network & acquaintances. But if you're ready to not let that affect you, you're already half way there.

It's VERY important for you to be a firm believer in 2 things by then:

1. don't question your move. sab kuch acche ke liye hi hota hai.

2. if you're struggling, make yourself believe that if you can do it once, you can do it twice. Even if nothing were to work out, you can very easily go back to the job you had (or probably bettter)

Δ: 40 - 90°

Before you move to Phase 4, read this:

P4 - April 2022 -- September: reality checks.

Overview:

I wrote about P1-P3 in one go, 50 days ago. Since then, I've been struggling to put the most special phase of my life, P4 into words. It's almost difficult to explain how the life of a founder is. But I'll try my best.

First, Ripen became a 24*7 for me. Except Sunday evenings, there was no time off, and all through the day, I'd be caught either thinking or doing something for Ripen. I got obsessed. In all probability, so will you. Your company will become your identity, and the low's & high's of your company subtly mirror yours.

Second, I was challenged, a lot. I was challenged with the level of clarity of thought (while ideating), leadership (while leading a team of 4), execution (with 10+ launches), results (to perform & re-iterate), ownership & context-switching (owing to the multiple experiments at a time), presence of mind (while answering VC's), patience (wrt to building a team, tech & legal x fundraise), going out of my comfort zone (almost everyday, with everything), people skills (catering to a community of 2500+, 10 IRL meet-ups &10+ community partnerships), work-ethic (slogging long days & nights) & lastly, hiring right (we've taken 50+ interviews for 3/4 key positions) all while maintaining the decorum in the team (lest, the ego clashes)

Everyday, there would be a slap on the face (and a high of user love to complement some of it). But as a company, we went through a lot. We went through a big delay in product launch, a pre-seed fund raise, increasing -> down-sizing -> increasing (again) the team-size to be lean.

But this was also the phase when ideas started to materialise in real-life.

I'm witnessing history in action, and that high, is like none other.

Mental Health:

Super stressful. The night we closed our pre-seed, i couldn't sleep. Not because I was happy, but because I was trying to prepare myself for the coming few months/years. I've felt out of sync, burnt out, frustrated, sad so often. But at the same time, I've had days where I'm super duper happy, ambitious, pumped up & ready to give it my all.

I've been wanting to restart therapy for a while. But i haven't been able to prioritise it, yet. This trip back home, I shall see my old therapist.

Physical Health:

Decent. We play football every Tuesday & parkour classes on the weekend made sure at least one part of my body would be sore through the week. There would be a week or two of inactivity, but i'd try to cover for it. Working out is a great stress-buster, though. I understood the importance of great physical & mental health, when work is your life - it should be a non-negotiable to inculcate physical activity in daily life.

Financial Health:

I dried up my savings from my time at Nomura, we were taking salary only enough to pay for our basic rent & utilities. I couldn't indulge in shopping (at all) & fancy hotels/meals. Some lucky accidents time & again, helped me stay afloat. But i've had a LOT of days when i was stressed about money. But it's alright, things will be relatively better once money hits the bank.

Biggest Worries:

There were a lot. I think mentioning them will not do justice. I'll just ask you to trust me & imagine, that everyday there would be a new '?' thrown at us.

Message to the reader:

These times have been stressful, beyond means - but that's why having a stellar set of people to fall back to in the company, helps. If not for Ritvik & Aviral, I wouldn't have been able to keep myself sane. So be VERY wary of the people you're getting in bed with. You'll be facing troubles with money, big dilemmas, important decisions, burn-outs and what not -- but it matters a LOT for you to like the people you're building with. They make everything better. Make sure they're smarter than you.

The amount of hard-skills, soft-skills, empathy, network, perspective & insights i've built over the past 9 months has been insane. I don't think i would even be half-way there, if i were to stick to a 9-5.

Your personal life does take a hit, you won't be able to relax really, no matter what day/time it may be, but at the same time, it's great to have something that drives you. It's a once-in-a-life time experience.

As daunting as this anecdote may have been, i'd still do it a thousand times over.

Δ: 90-180°

A few questions i'd request the reader to answer if you find yourself in a fix, professionally:

1. How relevant is your current job in parallel to where you want to be in 10-15 years?
   if the answer is no, you need to rethink & align short-term actions to long-term rewards
   

2. Are you scared you don't know your niche yet? Nor do you know the sector you want to work in?
   Generalist/Founders Office/Growth Roles are great when you're trying to figure it out.
   

3. Are you putting a deadline to your current job? (e.g. i will work here for 2 years and quit)
   when you don't like your job, every day is a pain in the ass -- find happiness, QUICK
   

4. Are you scared you won't be able to get a job like this again?
   let me answer it: if you can do it once, you can do it twice ;)
   

5. Do you think you aren't ready for it yet, or, think there's a lot you need to learn before you try?
   man, winners are like teabags --- you never see their true strength until they are in hot waters;
   time & experience may not teach you as much as a failed attempt can (+ build side-projects)
   

6. Want the 6-9 months of money + a solid idea or the best person to start-up with?
   change your surroundings, put yourself around people who have that potential, and watch.
   

7. Are you putting enough effort to strive for the change you wish to see in your life?
   this goes beyond work -- but we don't live in a wish-granting factory, neither can we ✨manifest ✨ our way through each inconvenience. actions reign supreme.

This was the longest blog i've written, no cap. But i had SO much to speak, and then some more. Ciao!